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Today's TQ&A guest is funny and crazy man Jamie Slance/Grooms. Jamie has allegedly wrote songs with 80's rock legends and is
currently working on his own radio station and a new CD due to hit the shelves some time in early 1999.
Todd:
Hello Jamie. It's good to have this opportunity to interview such an important symbol of America. So let me ask you, are you Jamie Slance or are you Jamie Grooms right now?
J. Grooms:
Well Todd, right now I'm just kickin' it. I'm relaxed and romanced!!! All the women love me right now, especially my main squeeeezah! Annie Brow!!! So right now I'm Jamie Grooooooomsah.
Todd:
Okay Jamie Grooooooms. It's now 5:52 pm, so when do you usually turn into Jamie Slance?
J. Grooms:
Well, at anywhere from sex to seven eleven!! That's when I flip out and do my best fishin'!! The fish really seem to like my singin'. Shall I sing some thang for you?
Todd:
Maybe later Jamie. Let me ask you a couple of easy questions. Okay, where has been your favorite place to work? And if you could work anywhere, where would you like to work?
J. Grooms:
Woah! That's eazay! My fa-vo-rite-ah place to work was at Hardeeze man. Ha, ha! They allowed me to work on my song writing while I worked! And I already had my favorite job but I lost it because of my love to Annie Brow! I worked on song writing with Motley Crue in their golden dayz man. Motley Crue and me had really good interception together! You know that song "Girls, Girls, Girls"? I wrote that for them. I'm serious man, they wouldn't have been anything without me! I also wrote songs for Poison and Guns n' Roses like "Welcome to the Jungle" and "Every Rose Has Some Thornsah"!
Let me sing it for ya: "Eeeeeeeeeevery rose has some thorns, just like eeeeeevery cowboy sings a saaaaaad, saaaaaad song. Yeah! Eeeevery rose has some thorns!!!!!"
Did you like it Todd? Oh yeah!!! I also sang in place of Axl Rose when he was too drunk or didn't want to sing. The crowd believed it was Axl and soon people began to know the way I sang apart from Axl and thought that Axl was the fake singa!!! Woah, those were the good ol' days, but then I met Annie Brow and she lured me into her apartment with a 19' TV and an air conditioner that runs 24 central!!!! So I had to quit those jobs.
Todd:
Sure. Anyway, let me ask you what you're doing now with your life. I haven't seen you for a while. You must be doing something interesting, right?
J. Grooms:
Yes I am Todd, I'm working on my guitaring skills. Right now I play as good as Eddie Van Halen and even better than Jimi Hendrixah!!! I've been writing some songs up in my apartment and....WOAH! What's happening to me-ah!!! Help me! It burns. WOAH!! WGO??.......WOAH!! Hello ladies and worms, I'm now Jamie Slance, I like to cheat on my girlfriend Annie Brow, who is sitting right over there with ugly ass teethah!!! Later I'm going to the bar and I'm find me some whores!!!!! And take em' home with me-ah!!!!!! Those sluts like the likes of Jamie Slance-ah!!!! Woah!! Did I say that outloud?!!! Ha! Ha! Let me sing you a song man!! "Woah-oh!! Livin' on a prayer. Take my words and you'll never despair!!! Woah-oh!! LIVIN' ON A PRAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-EEEEERRRR!!! Livin' on a prayer!! You gotta hold on to what we got, na-na-na! Na-na-na-na-na!! We got each oth-ah, and that's all good for loooooooooove, LET'S GIVE IT A SHOOOOT!!! WOAH! LIVIN' ON A PRAYER!!!!!
Todd:
Very good Jamie Slance, but your singing has run us out of time, so I'll ask you just one more question. Where do you see yourself twenty years from now?
J. Slance:
Well Todd! I see myself in twenty years with fifty billion dollahs!!! I'm going to strike it rich with my new cd-ah, titled "I'm Flamin' Crazy!" It should hit the shelves in about a month or three. It's gonna sell 24 central and make me rich!!! And like Bill and Ted, my CD will end all wars and bring peace to this great state of Montanah!!! Woah! I mean North Dakotah!!!!! In twenty years I'm gonna be rich, you'll all see!!!!!
Todd:
Well Jamie, I'd like to thank you again for letting me interview you. Ladies and gentlemen read the next interview when I interview Terry "Kermit" Reinhardt. He is now working at Wal-Mart and works on a radio station I believe.....
J. Slance:
Woah! You're interviewing my little friend Terry. He's my sidekick on our radio station WGO in Bismarck!!! He's a funny little guy! Ha! Ha! Bye everyone, I'm now going to pick up my Mustang. It's a really good one, I only had to spend two-hundred, no one-hundred, no only twenty-three dollahs!!!! I hustled that man!!! WOAH!!!!! BYE!!!!
Todd:
For Jamie Slance, I'm Todd Tosseth. Have a good night!!!!
For a transcript of TQ&A please save the interview to notepad.
For any suggestions on how to make TQ&A better please send mail to:
beewho@hotmail.com
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